Overcoming Fear of Success So You Can Succeed as an Entrepreneur

In my nearly five years of coaching online business owners full-time across various niches such as branding, marketing, operations, and strategy, one common theme consistently comes up when they contemplate scaling their businesses: the fear of their inevitable success. Now, the idea of being afraid of success might sound absurd at first (I mean, who wouldn't want more success, right?!). However, it's a reality that most online entrepreneurs come up against daily, often without even realizing it.

 In this blog post, we're diving deep into the overt types of this fear I've observed in clients, exploring where the fear of success stems from, and wrapping up with three actionable steps to move through your own fear of success. Let’s dive in starting with the types of ways the fear of success shows up!
 

The Types Of Fear:

The fear of success manifests in various shapes and sizes, each with its unique set of thoughts and behaviors. However, for simplicity purposes, here are the three primary types I've seen the fear of success show up for coaching clients:

Fear of Perception

This fear typically arises when clients contemplate expanding their online presence, whether through more live streams, starting a YouTube channel, or launching new offers. They worry that being more visible might offend others or simply make them uncomfortable with the increased attention they're drawing to themselves. Thus, their hesitation to expand their online presence reflects their underlying fear of success and the implications it may bring.

Fear of Expectation

The fear of expectation kicks in when clients realize the potential for earning more money. They fret over the prospect of increased expectations from others, such as picking up the tab, treating everyone to lavish dinners, or feeling obligated to support the block. These expectations, although often well-intentioned, can lead to self-imposed limitations on their financial goals. This fear correlates with the fear of success as it reflects their apprehension about the responsibilities and pressures that accompany financial growth.

Fear of Mishandling

Clients grappling with this fear worry about either achieving financial success by sheer luck or, conversely, wasting their newfound wealth and ending up broke. It's a spectrum of extremes, but the fear of mishandling money paralyzes many from pursuing their financial aspirations, leaving them playing it safe and small. This fear resonates with the fear of success as it underscores their reluctance to embrace financial growth and the uncertainties that come with it.

While these fears may not directly scream 'fear of success,' they are indeed rooted in it.

Why? Because success isn't just about hitting milestones; it's about embracing personal growth. The fear of perception, expectation, and mishandling are all manifestations of this underlying fear. They present unique challenges as we strive for visibility, income, and impact.

Now that we've identified the manifestations and underlying factors of the fear of success, let's delve deeper into the three most common roots observed in the entrepreneurs I've coached. Understanding these roots will help us navigate and overcome the fear of success more effectively.

Understanding the Root Causes:

Although my expertise lies in Business and Life Coaching for entrepreneurs, I've noticed two main external factors that play a pivotal role in fueling these fears: 

Upbringing

Our upbringing profoundly influences our relationship with success. For instance, I once had a client who, every time she achieved a milestone, spiraled into self-doubt. What we found through coaching is that her spiral was mirroring her parent's behavior, who would isolate themselves after every success. She had internalized a narrative that wasn't hers to hold. We’ve since unwoven her parent’s behavior from her own, noticing when it comes up, having a process for resolving it, and continuing to repattern that process when she is triggered (more on this process below!). 

Community

The community we surround ourselves with significantly shapes our perceptions. Joining a supportive community can be transformative, offering validation and encouragement that propel us toward our goals. An example would be a client who joined my now-retired membership offer and said, ‘I wanted to write this here because I truly feel this way about this community. First thing, I've never been in a community that has seen or validated me - I have always been one other person who was trying to fit in. This space has truly been kind, warm and sweet. It truly warms my heart to know that everyone comes together, holds space when it's the hardest and accept every opinion. This is hard. It's hard to come across a membership like this, something so GIVING. So, Thank you Chantae for creating it.’ The community you choose to access and cultivate can and will shape your relationship with the fear of success. 

Furthermore, understanding the underlying factors behind the fear of success reveals intricate layers deeply woven into our experiences and surroundings. Our upbringing and the communities we belong to all shape how we perceive and respond to the idea of success.

In essence, comprehending the root causes of our fears empowers us to confront them with self-awareness and perseverance. Through introspection and community backing, we can move through the fear of success and embrace our full potential as entrepreneurs and individuals.

Now that we’ve discussed the root of the fear of success (specifically the ways it can show up for us individually) from a broad perspective, let’s talk about how we can work to start overcoming it.

Overcoming the Fear:

When working with clients grappling with the fear of success, I focus on three key elements: 

Identifying the Trigger:

Understanding what triggers the fear allows us to address it effectively. Triggers vary from client to client, ranging from financial milestones to significant life changes.

Finding the Antidote:

Every client responds differently to strategies aimed at combating their fears. Whether through verbal processing, written exercises, or somatic techniques, we tailor the approach to suit their needs. 

Repatterning Behavior:

Reprogramming ingrained thought patterns is essential for lasting change. By consciously reshaping their responses to fear, clients can navigate challenges with newfound resilience and confidence.

All in all, the key to moving through the fear of success lies in recognizing the triggers, understanding how they typically manifest, proceeding to counteract them, and then cementing the change through behavioral repatterning.

This approach works because the client becomes less entangled with identifying with the fear of success and sees it more as a natural function of their brain, pattern, and conditioning. Whether caused by their upbringing, their relation to community, or their proximity to systems of oppression, they can begin to reshape their relationship with the fear of success – that in itself is a means to solidify that they desire more than what they’re experiencing now.

Assignment:

Here’s an exercise to begin this process for yourself, when you notice your fear of success start to show up:

1. What specific situations or events trigger feelings of fear or anxiety related to your success journey?
2. In what ways do you believe your past experiences, upbringing, or community influences have shaped your relationship with success and failure?
3. How do you typically respond to these triggers, and what strategies have you found helpful in managing your fear?
4. What steps can you take to reprogram your thought patterns and reshape your relationship with the fear of success? 

An example of how a client might respond to these prompts:

1. Example Response for Question 1: "You know, whenever I'm about to launch something new, I get this nagging feeling like, 'What if nobody likes it?' It's like I'm scared of putting myself out there and falling flat on my face."
2. Example Response for Question 3: "Growing up, I was always told to play it safe, you know? My family valued stability over taking risks, and that kinda stuck with me. Plus, hanging out with friends who were cool with just coasting along didn't exactly inspire me to go after my dreams."
3. Example Response for Question 3: "Usually, I end up stalling or second-guessing myself a lot. However, I've learned that breaking things down into smaller steps helps me feel less overwhelmed. And talking to friends or mentors who get where I'm coming from? That's been a game-changer."
4. Example Response for Question 4: "I guess the first thing is to challenge those negative thoughts I have about failing. Instead of seeing screw-ups as the end of the world, I'm trying to see them as chances to learn and grow. And hey, patting myself on the back for the little wins? That's been a mood booster for sure." 

Feel free to bring these answers to your coach, mentor, or support system to get a more in-depth review of them and to be coached through them. The power of coaching lies in the objective oversight you often can’t see for yourself. So, this is step one of the work. The next step is getting coaching on it.

Conclusion:

As we dig into the heart of the fear of success, it's pretty clear that our journey as entrepreneurs is a wild ride, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. From the little quirks of fearing how others perceive us to the heavy weight of worrying about handling success, we've peeled back the layers of this emotion that loves to throw obstacles in our way.

But you know what? In facing these challenges head-on, we unearth pockets of strength and resilience deep within ourselves. Our background, the people we roll with, and the systems we navigate all play a part in how we see success.

Supported with this understanding, we've got the power to redefine our whole vibe with success. It's all about spotting the things that set off our fears, figuring out savvy strategies to tackle them, and rewiring our actions for some serious, lasting change.

Because let's be real, being an entrepreneur isn't just about hitting the big milestones; it's about the whole glow-up that happens along the ride. It's about facing those nerve-wracking moments, staring down our fears, and coming out on the other side even stronger.

So, as we navigate the wild twists and turns of this entrepreneurial adventure, let's do it with guts, a bit of stubbornness, and an unwavering belief in our potential.